Weekend at Bernie’s and the Zombie Product You’re Still Managing
In one of my prior roles, I inherited a product that had clearly reached the end of its life. Usage was stagnant. Innovation had slowed to a crawl. Engineers were muttering about the future, and roadmap meetings turned into long silences and sideways glances.
But instead of acknowledging the obvious, we put on a smile, propped it up with a feature or two, and dragged it into the next quarter like everything was fine.
But deep down, we knew the truth: we were in Weekend at Bernie’s.
The Corpse in the Room
In the 1989 cult classic, two corporate nobodies discover their boss, Bernie, is dead. But instead of calling for help, they pretend he’s alive-dressing him up, propping him in a chair, even dragging him to parties- all to avoid getting blamed and to keep their weekend plans intact.
This, unfortunately, is the unspoken reality for many legacy products.
You know the ones:
- No new users
- No competitive edge
- No roadmap that’s more than a patch or regulatory update
But instead of admitting it’s time to sunset, teams pretend it’s Bernie; slapping on integrations, updating release notes, and hoping no one notices the rigor mortis.
It becomes Masterpiece Maintenance Theater.
Why We Keep It Going
Coming to terms with the fact that a product has reached the end of its life isn’t easy. It introduces uncertainty, forces uncomfortable conversations, and challenges long-standing narratives.
Tell me if this rationalization sounds familiar:
- “We already invested so much.” The classic sunk cost trap.
- “Some clients still use it.” Usually one, and they’re not happy either.
- “We’ll replace it next quarter.” Which somehow turns into next year.
- “It still works… technically.” A statement that should never appear in a product strategy meeting.
So, we keep it alive…. dressing it up and parading it around parties like it’s the coolest thing in the room.
What It Really Costs You
Maintaining a dead product isn’t just inefficient. It’s corrosive. The longer it sticks around, the more damage it does:
- Engineering drift: Your best developers are stuck fixing code no one wants to touch.
- Opportunity cost: That time could be spent building the next big thing—or at least something that will deliver value to the business.
- Roadmap clutter: Priorities become murky when the past keeps interrupting the future.
- Team morale: Everyone knows it’s a zombie, but no one feels empowered to call it.
It doesn’t show up in your metrics, but it drags on velocity, creativity, and momentum.
When Your Product’s Goin’ Up to the Digital Spirit in the Sky
We touched on some of these earlier, but let’s take a closer look:
- No new customers in the past 12 months
- Feature requests that sound more like bug reports
- Support tickets marked “Won’t Fix” by default
- A roadmap that reads like a maintenance log
- Internal conversations that begin with “Do we still support that?”
And the final clue?
No one wants to demo it. Even marketing looks away when it comes up.
Letting Go (Without Burning Bridges)
Sunsetting a product isn’t a failure. Done right, it’s a strategic move—an acknowledgment that value has a lifecycle.
Here’s how to do it with intent:
- Use data to tell the story: Show usage trends, maintenance burden, and opportunity cost.
- Create a real transition plan: Offer migration paths, support timelines, and clear comms.
- Communicate early and often: Internally and externally. No surprises.
- Celebrate the product’s legacy: It served a purpose. Honor that before you move on.
A good sunset clears space for better things to grow.
Final Thought
Weekend at Bernie’s is funny because it’s absurd.
Dragging around a product long past its shelf life is product malpractice.
So, take a hard look at that legacy product.
Is it still delivering value?
Or are you just making sure no one notices it’s dead?
At some point, you’ve got to let Bernie go to the place that’s the best.
🎧 Prefer to listen?
Check out the companion podcast version of this article on Spotify—same Bernie, just with more retro vibes and a sharper mustache.